Be Confident, You are a Masterpiece!

Have you ever, thought to yourself, Omg I'm so ugly, why can't I be like her, Have her hair, Have her body, Have her Personality, Have her talent, Have her lifestyle, Have her clothes, Have her faith, Be Valuable like her? Have her Etc.? 

STOP! 

Stop and go look at yourself in the mirror, tell yourself, "I am a masterpiece!"

We as humans get jealous or feel as if we are never good enough, or don't like what we see. Do you know if God wanted you to have something different, he would of painted you differently? You shouldn't worry about what is different, but realize something, each person has something different about us all, God didn't make us the same, cause It was never meant to be like that. If wanted us to have a different personality, he would of made that so, but what while you are telling yourself You hate this or that, you are a MASTERPIECE. You have your own talent, Your own Personality, Your own goals, You own looks. Do you know that if you tell yourself, you are ugly, not dependable, not talent, Not valuable, people will look at you that way? Start telling yourself, I am talented, (Find that talent in you) I have amazing personality, sooner or later you will realize you start to feel better about yourself. Wake up every morning and simply while getting ready in the mirror, tell yourself I am a Masterpiece, I'm thankful God has made me the way he Picture in the Painting. 

For a week, I have listen to a preacher about this topic, and honestly I needed it, for a long time I have hated myself, But now I see what my parents see, my friends, and my man (: My little boy has always made me feel beautiful!! I am a masterpiece.

I've even been working on how to stand up for myself, I realize my anger, has been rushing in me, to the point I'm biting my tongue so hard not to speak up. Sooner or later, it's gonna come out to the point I don't care anymore, I've stood up for myself three times in just one week. Go me! (:

This or That

My Bestie Ashleigh Day, posted this, You just copy and paste this, erase my answers, and put in yours, fun way to get to know someone a little better! (: Pretty clear her and I are different people, but still Love her to death!! (: 

Don't be scarred! Give it a go!

1. Chocolate or Vanilla:Vanilla, not big on Chocolate

2. Morning or Night: Night, It's always been my life!

3. Eating In or Eating Out: Both

4. Cats or Dogs:Both

5. East Coast or West Coast: East Coast

6. Night Out or Night In: Both

7. Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi

8. Laundry or Dishes: Laundry

9. Football or Basketball: Football

10. Reality TV or Sitcom: Reality TV

11. Electronic Reader or Book: Book

12. Facebook or Twitter:Twitter

13. Elope or Wedding: Wedding

14. Math or Language Arts: Language Arts (I have always been bad at math)

15. Salt or Pepper: Both

16. Friday or Sunday:Both

17. Going To Movies or Renting Movies: Both

18. Paper Newspaper or Online Newspaper: Paper Newspaper (I see it everyday at work)

19. Valentines Day or Halloween:Halloween (I hate Valentines)

20. Oscars or Grammy's: Grammy's

21. Gas or Electric:Both

22. Gold or Silver:Both

23. Soda or Ice Tea:Ice Tea

24. City or Country: Both

25. Diamonds or Pearls: Both! Learn to love them both.

26. Peanut Butter or Jelly: I can't choose one or the other both go together!

27. Colors or Black & White: Both

28. Online Shopping or Actual Shopping: Actual Shopping

29. Coors or Budweiser: Budlight can't be a Option? Neither! YUCK!

30. Breakfast or Dinner: Dinner

Waiting on Christmas...

"Oh Baby, can we please go in dollar store and see their Christmas Decor, might have some cute things!?"... "Baby can we at least get through Thanksgiving first?"..."I did not say I was going to put it out! I just ask if we could go in there gahhhh!"
My man can be so silly some times, my family for years has had there Christmas put out so early every year. I remember growing up, I use to stay awake for weeks to see Santa Clause, I was so scared about getting caught doing a big no no, cause It break my heart not getting a present. Or a stocking full of goodies. Seeing all the cookies and milk be gone in the morning, or the reindeer's ate all the carrots outside!! Yep, I loved Christmas. This is our first year of having Christmas as a family, putting a tree up for the first time, I'm so anxious! I wanna do it so soon, but I promise I wait till Thanksgiving Night to do it. Tonight however we Keith brought our first Decor for our apartment Door. A Gingerbread. I can't wait to hang it!!!!! I realize Keith and I need stockings, and a Christmas Tree Skirt! Ahh! (: My mother made a trip to Gatlinburg during the weekend and got us a Pickle to put in the tree. Never heard of it?! Oh It's a big history tale! Whoever finds the pickle first in the tree gets a surprise!! We however have to celebrate our Christmas on Christmas Eve, Keith works on Christmas morning, yes, I believe every business should be closed on Christmas! But not everyone thinks like I do. Either way It's going to be special and I seriously can't wait! Spencer is going to have amazing First Christmas! I can't wait to see his eyes get really big from all the lights. I'm even planning to take him to Orpyland hotel to see the lights as well. I can't wait to even get his picture with Santa Clause! Ekk! Ho Ho Ho! I can't even wait to see his face when he feels of the snow! Please SNOW this year! Oh I'm already getting the Christmas Spirit.

Motherly Love

There's nothing like walking through a door, and seeing your child get all excited and happy about seeing you. Love seeing his smile get so big and get all excited when he see's me. It makes me feel as if I'm doing a wonderful job raising a gorgeous little boy. Since he's turn 9 months, he's learn how to say bye bye, even put his hand in the hair and closes it while saying bye bye. Oh boy does he say Mama a lot too. Everything here lately is Mama, those words are something you never want to stop hearing. Like a song, you can't stop listening too and play over and over, that never gets old. He's even learn how to say Nana and Gigi, he loves his grandparents so much, for sure his Pa George, and Poppy Joe, they spoiled him the most I do believe. They are the reason I have to carry my son in every room I go in, or hold him when I do every single thing. Do I hate it? Nah, I don't, I love how he wants me, how he wants my comfort, my love to shine out to him in every way possible. I love how he just lays beside me while putting his little hand on my cheek and just staring away at me and smiling. His little smile shows me how happy he is, by god he's been the happiest little boy since he's been born, the first time I held him, he smiled. He for sure knew I was his Mama. He was screaming bloody murder till the nurse put him in my arms, tears filled my eyes by seeing something I never expected to see so soon. Once that smiled went across his face, I knew I had no worries in this world, I knew I was going to be a wonderful mother who will see this little handsome feller grow up to be his little self, I will teach him all the things he wants to learn and needs to learn. I'll even let him know smiling everyday is what makes your life more grand, praying to God above will keep your life on the right path. It's okay Cry. We all do. My shoulder and lap is always there for him when he needs to me. My door will always be his home. My heart will always be in his heart. I wake up every hour I hear him cry, forget sleep, He needs me more, I talk to him as he drink his bottle, I sing him to sleep every night he's with me, I play with him every chance I get, I laugh with him when he's being silly or just being his self. I'll always smile for him. I sometimes cry with him, but we always make each other smile. I'm even going to let him know, be whoever you are, not someone you will never be. Be what you want, if it makes you happy, you can be anything if you put your mind to it. Be crazy, get in trouble, do double dares, its what makes you the person you should be. Make mistakes, it's okay, we all do. (: I could go on, what I have so much to look forward to in the Future. My little boy is growing so quickly, cherish every moment.

I've never understood...

When my parents was told they was pregnant with me, they were shock as much as Keith and I was with Spencer, my parents got married when my mom was Three Months pregnant with me. Mother had a daughter name April, my Dad had a daughter name Felicia already. Growing up I thought I only had one sister, that was April, we use to get along, but we are now two totally different people, we have our moments and our fights, but I'll always love her, she's always there when I need to run too. She's gifted me with a gorgeous nephew I care so much about, and love like he's my own. I spoil him as much as I do my own Son.
The fact I'm getting too,... I never knew about my other sister till I was 13 year of age, I was going through Family Pictures one day with Daddy in floor, I seen another random girl in this picture, I said, "Daddy who's this?" I could tell he knew this day was coming. He explain to me my older sister walk out on us when she was young. I'm sure not many people know that I've never gotten along with any of my grandparents, I'm not proud of it, but it's made me a stronger person today. For years, I wonder what she was like, what time of person she was, who she was? I remember looking online for her, but she was not even online at all. One day, my parents and I went out to eat and my mom pointed someone out, it was my sister's mother and brother. I then knew her mom, I've known her awhile at Gville highschool. As much as I wanted to walk up and be like,"Hey!", I didn't. After Keith and I started dating, one of my ole friends said, "Do you have a sister name Felicia?" I couldn't help but look at her, she had a confuse look on her face, I said, "Yes, but we don't talk about it growing up." No one knew much about her, other then she got mad at my grandparents and dad. Jealousy happen between my sisters. I was only One year old. I felt like I was blame my entire life that it was my fault she left. My parents told me otherwise, it was her choice. But I still feel like it's something to do with me. My friend said, "Her mom said your sister has been trying to find you." Of course in my mind I thought, I been in the same house for 20 years, and I've had the same house number for 20 years. Of course I took the chance, hoping I could finally meet this stranger! The entire time I was pregnant, I enjoy texting her. Getting to know who she was, she always said I can't wait to finally see you again. Heck I couldn't wait to finally meet her! Even to meet her nephew Spencer. When Spencer was born, I expected her to show up at the hospital, but she didn't. Our text got a little slow and rare. I thought I did something or said something wrong. I ask her on fathers day if she wanted to meet dad and I out to eat, she never showed up or even contact me back. Now as of today, I realize her mother deleted me off facebook, and also blocked me. I'm hurt. I'm hurt the fact it was all a lie and set up possibly. I'm sad after opening up to her telling her how I felt for 20 years not having her in my life, she just up and vanish again. It hurts so bad not having a sibling not wanting anything to do with you. Of course it also hurt my dad too. :(
My sister April told me it was all a lie, and set up, she's just trying to break your heart, and cause issues. Maybe I should of listen to her, but I couldn't get the fact out, she's also my sister and I want give her a chance. But now as I'm sitting here playing with Spencer, she's really hurt me. She's hurt me for 21 years. How can you just walk out on our family? On me? On Daddy? We may not be rich and have loads of money growing up, we made it. We made it by God and Love. Prayer was the big thing growing up. How can you hurt your own little sister? So many questions are popping in my head. I guess I'll never understand, or know the answers. I just hope the rest of your life goes well. Cause I don't wanna try anymore. You got my hopes up, you broke my heart, and for most you are missing out on my life.

Happy Halloween & Last day of October.

Can you Believe today was the last day of October??

This morning I woke up before my precious little prince did, I laid there just staring at him sleeping, I started to cry to how big he's gotten in just 9 months. You can say this Mama has been in a tearful mood today, It finally hit me, in less then two months our baby boy Spencer Reece Thackxton born on January 25th 2012, at 12:38 that morning, will be 1 year old. As I started to cry, he woke up and looked straight at me, I instantly smiled and he smiled so big back at me. He grab my cheeks and worked his self to kiss me (a slobbery kiss) I love them! I said Happy Halloween!!! He looked at me with a confuse look on your face, I just giggled and said You will understand soon. But sadly Mama has to work today. He started talking away telling me about his dreams. We played in the bed at my mothers since we stayed over there. He was sitting there and I snap this Picture. His smiles just bless me!

This morning I asked my mother where the halloween costumes were? She said I got rid of all them. WHAT!!????!!! I said what the heck am I suppose to wear to work, it's Halloween!! My mom pulled out my Uncle Ricky's 70 outfit, I said momma I can't wear that, Why? she ask. Because if many haven't heard this story, my Uncle Ricky died at the age 16, struck my lighting on a rainy day, I never got to meet him, but I was bless with his amazing blue eyes. Uncle Ricky and I were the only ones in my family who have blue eyes, everyone else are green and brown. I hated to mess his 70 outfit up. I ask mother where her sweaters are. Even though some were uglier then the ones I had one, but I really kinda liked it, it was lose and cozy! Everyone thought I was a WITCH, so it worked out perfect! At work today Mrs. Banana came in, I died out laughing! I have known Rachel since we were wittle kids, we grew up in Church and when her mom and my uncle Bill use to sing together in my Granny's Basement on Saturday Nights. Never thought we be working together!! Then Elmo came in, my bosses Granddaughter, she was the cutest Elmo ever!! How can I forget the Gangsta Carrie! We never started off great working together, but I really look up to her, she's been working there five years and she knows a lot more then I thought. She looked quite sexy!! (: Of course Rhonda and Denise were plain janes today, we name Rhonda Miss America, and Denise a Pumpkin by just them and there shirts. Like I got WITCH! Now I wish I found a Sexy Snake outfit since Carrie, calls me Snake! :)  Totally wish I had the picture of us all at work but it's on Rachel's Camera!!

As I'm working and on Break, I get on facebook snooping, I run into a picture of Niki, in the green of this photo! I said OH RACHEL LOOK!! Niki was many of the girls that use to be in a gang at church with us. It had been years since I seen Niki, she's living in Lebanon now. I comment on the picture saying Rachel loves you and I miss you! Before I knew it, she called said she was coming by!! It was so great to see her, Catch up on somethings. Hard to believe how close we can pick up after so many years has pass by! Have missed her and them sweet days.

When I got off work, our gorgeous boy was playing and was so excited to see me and his daddy come up!! My nephew cooper who was the knight wanted a picture with me, I to can't believe how big my nephew has gotten, the excitement of being a aunt rush through me when he came along!! He's grown up so quick like Spencer has!! He will be 3 years December 21 2012. His face impression made me laugh, I said your silly! He gave me a hug and said Love you!

We started trick or treating went to my uncle reece's first so he could see him all dress up and give him some candy!! Then we went to see Pa George Thackxton at home to leave Nana a picture on her Camera with Pa! That's when his daddy snap one of him and I!! We visit both sides of the family, then we went trick or treating up in Gville small town, we had so much fun!! It was great to spend time as a family on a Holiday. It's something I wanted this year, being his First Everything!! It makes me so bless much much having a loving family I work so hard for everyday to keep happy cause it keeps me happy.

When we got home after eating Supper, Daddy and I wanted to play, and show off our Outfit!! Even though my momma mess up his hat, but his Hair just does the job for the costume. The hat was small at first, I told mom to cut the back, well she does the front, yeah I wasn't happy, but things happen right??!! We played away as hard as we could till we got so tired and beg mama for bedtime! We snuggle up and I sung him a song and rock him, he smiled going to smile tonight, and pass out pretty quickly on us. Getting him bed made more tears come down my face, I just know another memory made just pass by me. I'm so full of joyful tears that it blesses me beyond any words that can even express it all. Nothing I say will explain it.

                                                                 Happy Halloween!

Colorful Leaves...

Is this not gorgeous or what??!! 

Fall is my favorite time of the year. I love getting to walk out and be seeing lovely trees and clouds like this, for sure wearing hoodies and long shelves. As driving down the road other day viewing them, I just had to make a comment to my man. I said baby look!! How beautiful is that?! He said very pretty!! I said seeing that is what makes me miss my photography business. I use to drive around an take random pictures during fall season. My man of course got the hint. ;). We really want to make a trip to Gatlinburg Tn this weekend but due to bills that are happening to appear I believe my hopes are getting put down. He is put down as much as I am about it, hopefully this weekend though some back roading during the day me made for us so I can snap some gorgeous poses of Mother Nature!! I'm totally going to have to take my time and find some amazing master pieces I've taken over the year of my photography work!! I seriously miss it. I quit cause so many people are making a business out of it. An cause little man came around it it so hard for me to get out and take pictures. Now that he's getting older , maybeeeeeeee he let me snap snap some more. But I could never go back in the business. But doing something. Heart begs to be ease at I just can't help to do it on special occasions. Crosses Fingers for either trip this weekend. :)

Bestie Forever (:

This blog is for my bestie! That's right, I'm making it out to her...

Where do I begin??!! I've seriously forgotten what it's like to have a Best Friend who calls you about every night, and gets all pissy cause you don't answer. Ahh!! But deep down I love it! I can't ever stop laughing when talking to her, she's so outspoken it gets me every time. Growing up I've been in and outta friendships, I've lost many after becoming pregnant with my little boy, I met Ashleigh through a spare of a moment, we never even attended to become as close as we did, but I'm so glad we have. I've forgotten the feeling of what it's like to open up a door and see someone say Hola, but no one does it like she does it, her smile just cracks me up! Her personality is the best I've seen! Don't get me wrong, I got many other friends I could say Bestie, but Ashleigh as showed me a lot more in just our short period time of knowing each other, that she is a responbible and knows what it's like to have a friendship, she's very wise for her young age, just shows she was grown up to be a Lady.  I'm so honor and blessed beyond I've met her. She's brighten so many days I've wanted to scream or cry already. Being a mama, is not the most easy thing in the world. You have moments you wanna break down, but having a bestie right there to text and call makes you feel so not lonely. She's a girl, she knows what it's like. Having a girl friend, is also easy when you want to vent about your man not pleasing you, we all have that, there are gonna be times in relateionshps where you gotta call your bestie and be like urgghhhhhhhh he pisses me off. Ashleigh don't leave me hating him or wanting to fight with him more, she tells me to work it out. (: She cares about how I feel and should be treated and how I should treat him. She is a life saver! Ashleigh, here are some words I want you to hear, Thank you for being the best friend I've needed for so long, Thank you for all the phone calls you give me at night just to tell me your day, good or bad. Thank you for being there when I needed you! Thank you, for showing shopping, taking pictures, being goofy with me, making me laugh, Showing me how a true friend should treat me. Thank you for all the wise words I need to hear and am going to need in the future. Thank you for making me smile when I sad. I'm still so very oh so sorry for hanging up on you ONCE :P. haha our first argument FUNNY!!! :P You are a blessing and a prayer answer gift to me, I couldn't thank God enough for a angel sent above down to help me through this hard not so to horrible thing call life, (:. I'm so happy to see what God has in store for us both! I've enjoy the nights you have been! Dancing, Drinking, Pizza's, Mexican that you have threw up haha, Drunk Cuppycakes! Omg I've gain pounds since you left those BITCH! :P They are gone by the way! And for I'm thankful to have someone who makes fun of me :P I love making you laughing at my stupidness and dumbness! How could I forget you trying to make me girlie, yep not happening! haha! Okay, I could seriously write for hours about you, but in time, we will look back at so many memories, we wouldn't be able to count them. I love you bestie! (:

Unspoken prayers were Answer.

As I'm laying here, something just totally hit my mind. "Everything is okay." Why I've worried myself so sick lately I have no clue. Could be the past that's been burden in my heart for long? Or could be I'm scared? Or the fact I worry I can't make it better? I believe it was a mix of everything. I can't fully go into detail. But I'm so happy to say everything is okay. I finally got my answer I been wanting for so long. I been scared it'll never happen. Tonight has amazing. I can't stop smiling I can't stop crying with joyful tears. Knowing I have two special boys in my life makes my heart fill up with so much love.
It just shock me and I keep asking myself why did I ever think I couldn't do something? Why was I so scared? I know deep down tonight that he loves me completely. I'm sure your wondering, "what the hell is she trying to say?" Haha just look at it this way. When life gets rough. Smile! don't make decisions don't try so hard. Sooner or later in random occasions you will know the answer an then it clicks in your head like a bomb just went off. Don't let your past affect your present, don't let the future be ruin. Take each and every day as a blessing.
I'm still so speechless... Wow.

BackRoads with the person who has my Heart!!

BackRoads, Fall time, Cold Weather, Hoodies, Bonfires, and nice cold drinks. ;), However, I'm here to talk about the most favorite thing of all time I love doing during the fall-winter season. BackRoading!, My man and I every year loves to back road, when we first met, we went every night, of course the gas was cheap as crap. Today though it's hard to waste a tank of gas due to bills and rent. Sucky!


Thursday night,  I got off work in such excitement, my man and I had plan it all week long to go.My mother had agreed to babysit all night. I got home about 10pm and took a bath, smelling like onions from work isn't my favorite thing haha. Once I threw on some comfy clothes, we went to fill the tank up and started driving. It was a foggy night, but it was meant so much to us both, during life in general from all the stress and work, we barely have time to sit down and talk. We finally got to, we talk about when we first met, how we fell for one another and why we did. How our memorable memories about each other, and which were our all time favorites and the most funniest. I couldn't help either to be thankful for such a wonderful man in my life, through our ups and downs, our troubles and goods. He's been the best I ever had! I gave me a wonderful son I couldn't take back for a penny to trillions. My man's smile and laughter is about the most number one thing I can't stop loving. Riding and turning down each road, we had memories to share on them, what we did, haha let me tell ya young age and falling in love, there are some good ones. Most people use to play padiddle with car lights out, however, we do it different around here. Many people will drop off beer cans on the side of the road, we call PADIDDLE!! haha I know it's bad to litter but something that makes so much fun it's hard not to love it. I remember winning every time. (: I'm a pro at it I know! My man however one night drove around before picking me up and dropping some off where he knows there is one!! Such a tense and cheater! but the laughs meant a lot back in them days. All the good memories that night made me tear up to know all the troubles and stress we have really mean nothing, we both need nights to just sit down and rethink about everything, appericate the troubles we go through cause God has us on a journey. We cut our phones off, had a little music playing in the background. We even caught some songs we use to say "oh that's our song" too. We drove around till 4am, got home and cuddle up together, still asking questions till we both pass out.
I'm so thankful for that night, It had been a long time since we done that, becoming pregnant, working, baby shopping, baby planning, getting everything together, house/apartment hunting, delivering baby, moving into apartment, becoming parents, learning everything, working out butts off. Whew! But it's been a great experience. I am blessed to have the life I have. God never promise it would be easy, and I'm ready for each and every battle. We are already planning another night to back roading. Excitement already!

Mornings in this house hold!!

My little man and I this morning. He got his daddy outta bed and then me. While Laying there we decide to take a picture for daddy. Sent it to him and said "we love you", his smile just brightens my day.
Mornings around here are normally good with loads of loving. Little man has his own paces during the morning. Play time with cars and blocks. Moving to the door to look outside, bless his heart winter isn't gonna be his best friend since we can't open the door. After that he loves to have some breakfast to fill up his tummy. Then it's bath time or wash ups. He loves putting clothes on and picking them out. I always give him two options. Then it's normally nap time. This is when I try getting ready myself. Haha doesn't always go that way I normally lay down too.
But this morning is a different one our protecter is up and spending the morning with us. Yes, my protecter I use to call him this when we first met back in Jan of 2011. I have so many memories of us that ill never forget. I never expected to be loved in return. It's lovely seeing him up this morning spending it with us. Watching him and our son play cars and blocks is so peaceful there's nothing like that feeling "feels just right" during a family moment. Now to enjoy this lovely breeze coming into our apartment door...

New Start!

So I don't really know where to begin. My bestie Ash Day said I need to write a longer blog. So I'm going to try this out. Weee, here we go!! These picture you see are my main reason I breath everyday. Our son was born on January 25, 2012 12:38am 6 pounds 7.1 oz. :) he's my pride and joy. We name him Spencer Reece. The other man stole my heart March 14, 2011. Brian. We been through some up and downs but each day we look back the day before and laugh at our arguments. I've been the happiest person. My heart is truly stolen by some great men :). I work at a small town restaurant called Brenda's!! I'm a waitress I love my job but so looking for something new. Wanting to go to school and working my tail off to get a job at the hospital to help guide myself to study in LPN. If there's one thing you haven't figure out I do anything to make my sons life the greatest. My man is a miner. Money is great but not when you got a lot of bills coming in and I don't even make mimn wage. But I've always grew up not having a care in the world about money and always focusing on love. I believe God helps us each and every day. He guides us
in the right direction. :) so that's a little about me. Small town girl with a big heart. My heart is bigger than the world it's self.

Newbie!!

I'm new to this, Beware! This may be bad!!! ;)